Spontaneity for the Win!

I did something impulsive last night, which is unlike me. I’m rather OCD so I enjoy order and like to plan things in advance. Last night was a major departure from that, and a positive one!

H and I skipped family stuff yesterday to stay home together. We talked a little about our relationship and the lack of sex lately, but managed to do it in a low key way without fighting. Let me tell you, that was a nice change! H ended up coming on to me and fucking me in the shower, which was great. Then a while later he asked for a blow job, and I happily complied. That got me laid as well 😉

After a couple rounds H was asking me why I haven’t been looking for people to play with and I explained that I was still interested but the timing hasn’t seemed good lately. He encouraged me to look if I want to play, so I hopped on craigslist. Usually there’s nobody that is both close to our age and attractive, but last night I found someone!

C had included his phone # in the add, so I sent him a text. He called me immediately and happened to be nearby. We hit it off and talked a bit and exchange some pics. H and I have fantasized for a long time about him watching another guy fuck me rather than having a threesome, and C was more than happy to oblige. He also said he has a big cock, but most people say that. I admit one of H & my other fantasies has been for me to get fucked by a guy with a bigger cock than H, but H is not small by any means so we’ve never succeeded.

Back to last night…I wasn’t at all comfortable inviting C over even though I was horny and he is HOT! My house was a mess, my hair was a mess, and I hadn’t spent much time talking with him about likes/dislikes etc. However, H continually encouraged me to invite C over. Eventually I gave in!

C came over and we got straight down to business. Turns out he actually does have a huge cock! The sex was amazing, I love being stretched open so much it hurts a little bit and I love being sore the next day. Why yes, thank you, I am actually having a *very* pleasant Monday this week 😉 I squirted so hard and so many times my muscles are exhausted today and I’m even a little shaky!

After C left H told me how hot it was to watch and that C can come fuck me anytime, even if H isn’t there. What!? That’s a big step for us, and one I’m more than happy to enjoy. I immediately texted C and told him the good news. He didn’t respond, but I assumed he was still driving home and didn’t give it another thought. H fucked me two more times after C left, but not until after I sat on his face and made him eat out my freshly fucked pussy. I had also told him before C arrived that I wanted him to wait to cum until he was inside of my stretched hole. I couldn’t tell you who was the most turned on in my house last night!

Have you been waiting for it? If so…you were right! Here’s the catch…I haven’t heard anything from C since he left 😦 C had to get up before 5 a.m. today, so I wasn’t surprised I didn’t hear back from him last night. But I hoped he might text me this morning, and he didn’t. Well, he could be busy at work (I have no idea what kind of job he has). So, around 11:30 this morning I sent C a text saying I hope he got home safely last night and that I had a lot of fun. Still no reply 😦

After the incredible sex last night I’d be extremely disappointed to not get a repeat performance. C even gave me a bunch of hickeys on my neck which I was not able to cover well at all for work today (Bonus! My mother is my ride home after work today and my hickeys are on my left side primarily). So, I’m trying to convince myself not to give up on C yet as it’s been less than 24 hours and he could very well still be at work right now but I have to admit I have a feeling I’m not going to hear from him again :/ I hope I’m wrong!

C did tell me he wanted to be discreet as he is hoping his ex and he “will come back together”. I was moderately drunk last night so my memory isn’t crystal clear, but I wonder if one or both of us got caught up in the moment and said something we didn’t mean? I hope not as that would be a piss poor reason to miss out on more nights like last night!

Regardless of whether I hear from him again or not though, it was a fantastic night and I’m so glad I went against my instincts and took a leap of faith! Perhaps I’ll have to consider walking on the wild side (a.k.a. not planned in advance!) more often 😉

Second Date

Last night we met up with A & N again. I was feeling restless this last week and not getting fucked enough, so I texted them Friday asking about their plans for the weekend. H can always be relied on to fuck me through the mattress after we play, so it was a win-win! They both had a rough day and wanted to unwind, so we sat around chatting and watching T.V. for a couple hours at their place. We like them more and more as we spend time with them. A & N can relate to our experiences in the lifestyle which we haven’t really encountered before. Hanging out and talking definitely reaffirmed our compatibility. After a while she was getting restless and wanting to get in the hot tub. H was really looking forward to this part of the evening, but he wasn’t feeling like hot tubbing so I decided to forego hot tubbing and he and I stayed behind. I did run follow briefly to enjoy the show as she took off her clothes and give her a quick kiss, but after that headed back to the couch.

He asked me if H & I ever play separately, and I explained that we’ve talked about it but never really had the opportunity. He told me that it wasn’t planned or anything, but that they sometimes play separately and like it as it can be more comfortable, not having anyone watching you. I find watching (and listening!) part of the thrill, but also figured it would be hot to know H is fucking someone else and I’ll only get to know the details when he tells me later. It was obvious to me they hadn’t planned on trying to separate us, I was more than welcome to join H & her in the hot tub, but I was happy hanging with him. Aside from the hot tub, another bonus of playing at their place is their bean bag chair. It’s not just any bean bag, it easily holds all four of us at once and is filled with memory foam, not beans of any sort. It’s comfortable and bought from a sex store, so the whole cover comes off and is washable. Adult-play approved!

H and I hadn’t specifically agreed to playing separately with them, but I figured when H went off to the hot tub with her they were already alone and naked together, so I wasn’t too concerned about getting naked alone with him 😉 Let me tell you, moving to the bean bag was far better than any couch sex I’ve ever had! Can’t wait to do it again. He and I are both kinda lax on the prelims, and got straight down to business. He isn’t the best kisser, but what he does have going for him is that he likes to bite, and that I can’t get enough of. Last time when we same room swapped, he grabbed me hard on the hips and sides depending on what position we were in. I loved it; was hoping to have bruises he grabbed me so hard. I can never get H to do that 😦 After, I asked H if he told him I like stuff like that, but H said he didn’t. H had only texted with her, not him. So, now I knew he likes it a bit rough. Very interesting.

Back to our second date, we’re on the bean bag and I’m all revved up from him biting and undressing me. He starts working my clit and fingering me, and he’s good. H almost never fingers me, and it’s even more rare that he touches my clit. I’m not complaining, typically H is too busy fucking me to do any of that. Like I said, I’m not usually big on prelims. Anyway, because I don’t get it often, fingering really gets me off. I started squirting and just couldn’t stop. I soaked nearly half of the huge 4+ person bean bag in a matter of minutes. It felt so good! I often hold back on squirting at home because it’s so much work to clean up, and if I want more than one round it causes a delay as I usually get too cold if we try for round two on a soaking wet bed. So, when other people host I typically give in and squirt as much as I want and don’t hold back. I do that some times at home, especially if we have play partners over, but not on a regular basis. I love to squirt!

At this point I was really sensitive and he was hard and leaking precum. I got on my knees on the bean bag while he stood up and proceeded to use every trick I’ve learned until his knees were weak. He was moaning and his hips were bucking in no time flat. I love seeing how much a guy wants me once he has me deep throating him and sucking his balls. That combined with the way a guy smells and tastes makes me so wet. Thankfully he had a similar idea and was quickly sinking in to my soaking, sensitive pussy. I started cumming before he was all the way in. He had me on my back, but thanks to the bean bag the angle was far from boring. He was pounding my g spot with every stroke, and I was scratching him and begging him not to stop when I remembered to breath! The best part though, he had his hands high on my thighs and was pushing down on them, sinking his fingers in to my skin, forcing my legs wide open. I couldn’t have moved them even if I’d wanted to. Fuck it was hot.

He’s a tall guy, and I have to admit there are a lot of advantages to petite girls like me getting nailed by tall guys like him. After a while he replaced his hands on my thighs with his elbows and had both hands around my throat, squeezing. I wouldn’t have thought I’d be comfortable with a guy I’d only met once before closing off my airway while we were alone. I was surprised not to be afraid or even hesitant, I just wanted more! I came so fucking hard I had to fight to keep conscious. The sex was even better than last time, although I guess that’s not a big surprise. After we were done the four of us chilled on the bean bag, mostly managing to avoid the areas I’d soaked. We chatted for another hour or two, naked and relaxed. I took advantage of the situation to enjoy her body. We were all a bit worn out, but I enjoyed running my hands all over her body, raising goose bumps on her skin, tracing her tattoos and fondling her gorgeous breasts. Plus some kisses here and there 😉 Next time, I’m starting with her and exploring her body at length!

When we got home, H fucked me until I screamed. We started out slow, I asked H about what she did to him. If she gave him a blow job, if she rode him. He told me how much he played with her tits and how much it turned him on. H also told me how she kept telling him how much she loves his big cock. I second that 😉 Then I started telling him what we’d been doing in the other room. It drove him crazy. He fucked me harder and faster until I couldn’t tell him any more details because all I could do was scream encouragement. The sex was great. I got rough sex on our play date and sex with H and his big cock all in one night. All in all, a great Saturday night!

It’s a sub thing…

I have needs, and H doesn’t understand them. Not only does he not understand them, I can’t make him understand. We had sex last night and H inadvertently gave me a hicky. In my fantasy world, H did it on purpose, to mark me and possess me. To show that I’m his, that I belong to him. This was immediately shattered today when he realized he’d left a mark and apologized profusely. Any time he leaves a mark, a hicky, a bruise, anything, he always apologizes. Repeatedly. Even when I begged him: harder, more, please! He is always sorry. H doesn’t want to hurt me, doesn’t want to humiliate me, doesn’t want to own me. H doesn’t want the things I need, the things I crave. I want to be marked, bruised, forced.

I assume it’s the sub in me that is desperate for the physical marks, the proof that I’m wanted, needed even? I guess I can’t be sure as I don’t personally know any other subs, but that’s my assumption. I wish I knew how to relate the soul deep need, but I think only a Dom who feels the need to see it or a sub who feels the need to feel it can understand what I mean. The problem is that I’m not getting it; haven’t really ever gotten it. It’s not getting easier, it’s getting worse. I don’t know what to do. H & I had sex tonight. But, before hand I masturbated for nearly 45 minutes. Then part way into riding him I put in my Ben Wa Balls. After a bit H came and was done. I was horiner than ever. I fucked myself with one of my toys until I squirted, and all that did was continue to rev me up more.

I admit I’m a novice sub at best, but my fantasies drive me crazy. I want to be spanked, whipped, flogged, cut, I want searing hot wax dripped all over my body and clawed off. I imagine being forced to wear a butt plug all day (I’ve never used one), being denied orgasms, being gang banged (also never done that), figging, and on and on and on. My need is constantly escalating and never being met. I feel like I’m going crazy, like my skin is crawling with unfulfilled desires. I don’t know how much more I can take. Worse, I don’t know what will happen when I finally can’t take it anymore…