Cruise the River (is that what we’re calling it now?)

H and I met a local couple last year who we really hit it off with. She was exactly H’s type, under 30, blond, tall and thin, killer legs and big tits. I was hardly immune from her charms myself. He was more average but had tattoos (a favorite of mine) and dark hair. We had a lot in common with them, similar interests and of course an interest in playing with others. The only problem was that although he initially said they full swapped, he was actually the only one comfortable with that and she wasn’t. They were also rather flaky and last-minute, which was not fun for us. We played maybe three or four times and it was fun, but she was only interested in playing with me, not H. Because they were so difficult to meet up with things fizzled out.

A few months later H asked if I’d want to have just him over to play. Apparently they’d kept in touch. Cool. He came and we all had fun. Since then, he and she have split and he’s got a new hottie by his side. I need to learn how to get hot chicks from this guy!!! Seriously, he’s pretty average but he consistently bags super hot ass! I wish my game with the ladies was half as good.

Anyway, H mentioned that he and his new lady would be interested in playing, so I agreed. We haven’t actually met, but this has been in the last couple months or so, so it could still happen. What surprised me was when H told me he and this other guy were thinking about taking their jet skis out and cruising the river. Sounds like fun. That was a few days ago. Yesterday H mentioned it again, saying he couldn’t remember if he’d told me or not. Here’s the important part: I’m apparently not invited!?

In the beginning of this year we came to an agreement that we could both play with members of the same sex without the other person being there. At the time our work schedules led to us both spending a fair amount of time home alone. I never got a chance to take advantage of that agreement as within a few weeks H got a promotion and his work schedule is now the same as mine. My best guess is that H never had the opportunity to utilize that agreement either. Is that what this river trip is about?

There’s no reason for me to ask, as I have no issue at all if that is why they’re going. I was surprised when H made it clear that I’m not invited, but I’m not super upset. My motivation for not asking is that neither myself nor H have many friends of the same sex, and if he is just trying to build a friendship with a like minded guy I don’t want to make him feel weird about it or like I think everything has to be about sex. I am curious though! I can’t think of any other reason why I wouldn’t be invited.

If something interesting does happen, will H tell me? I hope so, but I suppose we never explicitly agreed to tell one another when we discussed this agreement. They were talking about going this weekend when I’m volunteering, so it’s possible H just didn’t want to be home alone for a couple hours, but that seems unlike him to me. H is typically very much a homebody. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly near the river if they do end up going!

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Weekend Sex Marathon

Last week I wasn’t myself. I’m not sure whether it was due to stress, if I had a bit of a cold, or some other reason. But all week I was exhausted and my sex drive was lagging. H wasn’t upset, letting me fall asleep as early as I wanted and not even mentioning the lack of sex. By Friday night I was feeling much more like myself and my sex drive went crazy. We had sex twice before bed and H woke me up in the middle of the night for round three. Next thing I know it’s Saturday morning and H is waking me up with morning sex. I was soaking wet all day Saturday even after four rounds in under 12 hours, I was absolutely gagging for it (sadly, not literally :/). Saturday night we once again fucked twice before H passed out, but I was still vibrating with need. I let him sleep for as long as I could stand it (and no, masturbation did not in fact help at all) then woke H for yet another round. As for today? You guessed it, sex, sex followed by more sex. I should be happy, right?

 

H and I were talking about setting up play dates in the near future and what we wanted to do. Out came H telling me that he’d love it if I’d be more dominant with him. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. Plus, I’ve legitimately tried to be dominant with him in the past on a few rare occasions. He’s never been into it. I tied him up once, which he didn’t like. Another time I played with his ass and wanted to rim him, but he just pushed me away. So I told him I’ve tried to before and that he’s never seemed interested. According to H he just didn’t know what I was doing. Am I married to another sub?

 

Seems entirely possible to me. I know H doesn’t like pain, but masochism isn’t a requirement. Then again, he also didn’t seem to like bondage. Perhaps he just falls more on the vanilla side of things? I really don’t know. Can a guy who will give me small amounts of pain in bed, strangle me, tie me up occasionally, full swap same or different room and at least occasionally enjoy pegging or bottoming for another guy be classified as vanilla? Trying to figure H out is giving me a headache!

 

Truth is, there are times when I like to be more dominant. In general, I’m dominant with women. I go after them aggressively and take what I want from their bodies. Not in a painful way, but I am quite assertive. One of the guys I use to hook up with, R, was always good at bringing out my dominate side. I’m not exactly sure how he did it, but he loved me telling him what I wanted and me being aggressive with him. It’s been years since I slept with R, but no other guy has ever pulled that reaction out of me, including H. I think as a sub I get a vicarious thrill from dominating others. Sometimes I fantasize about binding and lashing someone. Seeing the rope cutting in to someone’s flesh and the red striped color darker the longer the whipping goes on…I honestly don’t think I’m a sadist, I think it just turns me on because want it so badly. I’ve never actually done anything like that, just a little hair pulling or light scratching and biting is about it.

 

So, can I be more dominant with H? Absolutely. Do I want to? Perhaps on rare occasions, but certainly not regularly. Even if I do end up fulfilling that role, I’m certain it will do nothing to alleviate the churning, painful need to submit that’s practically suffocating me every day. I’ve been thoroughly fucked somewhere in the realm of 8-10 times in the last 36 hours, as well as having masturbated repeatedly in that same time frame, and I’m still ravaged by want. At one point, H was eating me out and I had my legs pulled up and open as wide as I could. My still heavily bruised thighs were on display, and H was driving me insane with his mouth. He got me to that perfect level of sensitivity where I couldn’t stop cumming. I must’ve came for close to 10 minutes straight; everything he did made me cum that much harder. I love getting to that point. It happens sometimes during sex, but most easily when I’m getting eaten out. Even half out of my mind and oxygen deprived (I’m not very good at remembering to breath when I’m cumming), I was still wishing more than anything that H would just put his hands or his elbows on my bruised thighs and use them to hold me down, hurt me while I came for him. But alas, no such luck for me. H was very careful every single time we fucked to avoid touching my bruises, let alone putting pressure on them. FML!

 

I don’t know what to do. This need just keeps growing, and my imagination is only getting further and further out of control. As much as I want H and I to have a BDSM relationship, I just don’t think that’s a realistic goal. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this need locked away, or how I’m going to cope when I finally can’t control it any longer.

Calling All Bisexual Doms

As my blog discusses, I’m hoping that my husband H may eventually become my Dom. I don’t have super high hopes of success for a variety of reasons, but one in particular bears further exploration I think. H and I are both bisexual, and while I am fine with all varieties of pairings (and moresomes), H has never topped with another guy, only bottomed. H had never even experimented with guys prior to meeting me, but it seemed a rather short move from pegging to involving a real bi guy in a threesome.

Again, I don’t have a problem with this. M/M doesn’t bother me, and I don’t disrespect H for bottoming. But he’s never expressed a desire to top either. I’m not sure if he is uncomfortable with that since if he wants anal he can get it from me, and thinks he shouldn’t express interest in topping a guy, if H simply isn’t interested in topping a guy, or if there’s something else going on. The other thing is when we’ve had threesomes and H has bottomed, he’s always lost his erection. He seems to enjoy it, moaning and so on, but he doesn’t get or stay hard. This is true when I peg him too. He also hasn’t ever cum from being penetrated that I’m aware of.

Typically we have very open communication about what we like, don’t like, what we want and fantasize about, etc. But in this case I don’t know how to bring it up and I don’t know what I would say. I also know that H rarely identifies as bisexual. What I don’t know is why. In the lifestyle, M/F and F/F play is accepted but M/M play is all but prohibited. I’m not sure if H just doesn’t want to drive away potential playmates, or if there’s more to the story? So, I’m probably about to the point where I need to admit I understand everyone’s sexuality is their own and I can only get the answers to my questions about H’s sexuality by taking to him. Agreed. But, here’s my question and the reason for my discussion in this forum: are there any bisexual Doms out there who like to bottom when playing with another guy? If so, is it “vanilla” bottoming or deeper levels of submission? Also, not personally knowing much about M/M sex, do you ever lose your erection while bottoming? Does that affect your enjoyment of that particular sex act?

Basically, I’m trying to figure out (from a variety of angles) if H may become a Dom or if it truly isn’t for him. I love H and I don’t want to push him for something he doesn’t want or won’t be happy with, but I am finally realizing that my need to submit is a part of me, and not something I can ignore or wish away. Any comments/thoughts/experiences/ideas on any of these subjects are more than welcome. Thank you in advance for any insight you may be able to provide!