This is another one of those posts/topics that I’m finding extremely difficult to write. It’s been over a month since I began drafting this post; at this point I’m just going to get down what I can and call it … Continue reading
As my blog discusses, I’m hoping that my husband H may eventually become my Dom. I don’t have super high hopes of success for a variety of reasons, but one in particular bears further exploration I think. H and I are both bisexual, and while I am fine with all varieties of pairings (and moresomes), H has never topped with another guy, only bottomed. H had never even experimented with guys prior to meeting me, but it seemed a rather short move from pegging to involving a real bi guy in a threesome.
Again, I don’t have a problem with this. M/M doesn’t bother me, and I don’t disrespect H for bottoming. But he’s never expressed a desire to top either. I’m not sure if he is uncomfortable with that since if he wants anal he can get it from me, and thinks he shouldn’t express interest in topping a guy, if H simply isn’t interested in topping a guy, or if there’s something else going on. The other thing is when we’ve had threesomes and H has bottomed, he’s always lost his erection. He seems to enjoy it, moaning and so on, but he doesn’t get or stay hard. This is true when I peg him too. He also hasn’t ever cum from being penetrated that I’m aware of.
Typically we have very open communication about what we like, don’t like, what we want and fantasize about, etc. But in this case I don’t know how to bring it up and I don’t know what I would say. I also know that H rarely identifies as bisexual. What I don’t know is why. In the lifestyle, M/F and F/F play is accepted but M/M play is all but prohibited. I’m not sure if H just doesn’t want to drive away potential playmates, or if there’s more to the story? So, I’m probably about to the point where I need to admit I understand everyone’s sexuality is their own and I can only get the answers to my questions about H’s sexuality by taking to him. Agreed. But, here’s my question and the reason for my discussion in this forum: are there any bisexual Doms out there who like to bottom when playing with another guy? If so, is it “vanilla” bottoming or deeper levels of submission? Also, not personally knowing much about M/M sex, do you ever lose your erection while bottoming? Does that affect your enjoyment of that particular sex act?
Basically, I’m trying to figure out (from a variety of angles) if H may become a Dom or if it truly isn’t for him. I love H and I don’t want to push him for something he doesn’t want or won’t be happy with, but I am finally realizing that my need to submit is a part of me, and not something I can ignore or wish away. Any comments/thoughts/experiences/ideas on any of these subjects are more than welcome. Thank you in advance for any insight you may be able to provide!
Lately I’ve been going through a huge focused on women phase. I’m bisexual, but I love cock. DP, yes please. Gang bang? Where do I sign up! Don’t get me wrong, my cock obsession has not abated in the least. But wanna get me worked up in a hurry? Have a hot chick walk by & I’m soaking. H has teased me a bit, but has no complaints. He loves to be involved when I take a girl to bed, but he’s willing to just watch and fuck the shit out of me after if she’s not comfortable with a threesome.
So my friend C is super hot. Tall, thin, pear shaped with c cup perky boobs. We’ve been friends for a couple years and hanging out regularly on the weekends. She always flirts with me and is rather handsy, even pretending to motor boat me at her work holiday party in December (yes, her boss was in attendance, along with my parents!). Why was I at C’s holiday party? Why as her date, of course.
A couple weeks ago I invited her over for dinner and a movie night. I cooked and we drank a bottle of wine (not enough to get either of us tipsy in the slightest). Then I finally make my move. I climb straight in her lap and start kissing her neck and running my hands all over her tight body. She looks at H, sitting across from her in a chair, who tells her “Just go with it.” She did. Got her in bed and discovered pretty quickly how inexperienced she is with girls. My pussy was just short of crying from how rough and misplaced her “handling” was. Easier for me to take control. Many orgasms later (hers, not mine) it was late & she had to go home.
The sex with H was mind blowing. It always is after we play with others. I was horse the next day at work, and not just from screaming 😉 What I found disconcerting was how I couldn’t pull my thoughts away from C for even a moment. As I fell asleep I was craving feeling her body in our bed. I couldn’t wait to text her the next day. I’ve never, ever, reacted like this after getting intimate for the first time, with anyone. Period. A couple days later I finally admit my fear to myself: am I in love with C?
How will H react? I have no doubt I could be happy in a long term plural relationship. But, any time I joke about it H vehemently denies his interest. He sincerely appears to have zero interest in anything more serious than a regular play partner or partners. Which, as his wife, I respect 100%. I would never even consider leaving H. Not for any reason or any person. But, I can’t help wondering how C feels. Does she want to play again? Would she want something more serious? Would she want it with only me or with both myself and H? Would H be okay with me having another relationship that didn’t involve him? I was bowled over by endless questions. I was terrified.
I went on a trip out of town for about a week, and when I got back I still hadn’t said a peep to H about my concerns. Last weekend, I saw C again. This time at her house, we went a bit farther than that first night (I didn’t want to scare her off in light of her obvious inexperience). While we made out and engaged in heavy petting in the back seat of the care (H was driving her home on our way home from a Super Bowl party) everything was good. But the minute I got her in her bed and went down on her, she started up a monologue about how she likes guys, but will let me do this anyway because it feels the same. She talked like this the entire time. At least 10 straight minutes, possibly more like 20. Thank god H finally said we needed to get home since it was late and we all had work the next day.
What did I learn from this? I’m most certainly not in love with C. Also, just because a girl flirts with me, doesn’t guarantee she’s bi, or at least willing to admit to herself that she’s interested in girls (or even just me). I now know I am not interested in straight girls. At. All. Mostly, I’m just grateful the enormous knot of worry/fear/anxiety that had settled and grown in my stomach was suddenly gone. There’s nothing to tell H. I have no interest in playing with C in the future. We will go on as friends, but I’m just going to forget this fiasco ever happened and put it behind me. Here’s hoping H & C go quietly along with that and don’t ever ask any tough questions! Wish me luck 😉