Good Kinky Fun vs. Abuse

Love Letters to a Unicorn

If I am really honest about some kink behavior, it looks like abuse out of context. I have seen more than one play scene where the bottom was clearly in distress and the top did not stop (no safe word was used, but the distress was real). I have watched people who carry out punishments in protocols that outside of a kink arena could not be distinguished from abuse.

However, in the context of a consensual D/s or BDSM relationship however, much of this behavior has a very different meaning and is in no way abusive. So, how is someone, especially a newbie supposed to tell if something is abusive or appropriate.

There are a lot of different behaviors that should be red flags for abuse. I have written about some of these before. You can see it here. I bring the topic up again because, once again, I…

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