Inadvertently Traumatized?

Last week I attended a multi-state conference for work. During one of the break-out sessions I found myself seated at the same table as my middle school math teacher on whom I had a major crush for at least three years! I was shocked to see him and asked what he did now. Turns out he is now a high school principal. The strange part is, after about 2 minutes of awkward conversation, he high-tailed it out of the room! The hour long break-out session had just begun. In his absence I reflection on our brief exchange, unsure why the conversation seemed to be so awkward. We were all wearing name tags and after he confirmed he was a former middle school math teacher he asked what my maiden name was then, professed to remember me.



FYI – this is not a picture of him


In his absence, I began theorizing as to what occurred that scared him off? My initial theory was that he simply lied about remember me and didn’t want to get caught, thus removing the possibility of further conversation at that time by leaving. On the heels of that theory quickly arrived two more: either A, I traumatized him when I was his student, or B, I somehow managed to traumatize him during the two minutes of our brief exchange (which was almost exclusively about our current jobs). Much later one additional possibility occurred to me; I had just recently begun wearing my BDSMblem full time. Did he recognize the significance of my necklace? Was he uncomfortable with what it revealed about me, to the point of feeling the need to remove himself from my presence? This would of course fall under theory B above, however due to the specificity of the trigger to his unexpected behavior I mentally counted this as theory #4.


Exactly how the BDSM emblem is suposed to be

   The BDSMblem


Naturally, there are many many more possibilities. Perhaps he planned to leave early all along due to another commitment, or something came up and I just missed him checking his phone right before he left. Or maybe seeing me as a professional made him feel old; hell, perhaps he was even attracted to me and felt guilty! I believe all of these other explanations and more that have floated through my mind are truly remote possibilities, but plausible nonetheless. I likely will never be privy to what really happened; regardless, it was nice to see him. The bastard is still gorgeous and I found my eyes following him at every chance throughout the rest of the conference. I suppose I should just accept that what is, is and be grateful for having had the chance to chat with him at all.


3 thoughts on “Inadvertently Traumatized?

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