Scars

Broken But Still Bleeding

My scars are my story

they tell the tale of all the battles I have fought within my mind

they show the choices I have made

the choice to survive however I had too

the decision not to give up

each scar was a choice

the debate between stopping or continuing

between going deeper or settling for a scratch

digging for the vein or being satisfied with a few droplets of life-giving red

my scars show my pain

and how much it affected me

they show how far I’ve come

and how far I still have to go

I may have scars

more than I can count

some fading into my past

some signs of recent battles

but I am still here

and my scars do not own me

they don’t define me

they are not me

they are merely a part of my story

I will never be ashamed…

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Branded…

Diary of a Married Woman

After an intense, hard and fast beginning to our cane session last night, M paused briefly to admire his work. Running his warm, brazen palms over the stingy red welts, he leaned back to then trace each with the tip of the cane.

“Do you notice anything,” he asked after he’d done so.

“Was that an M?,” I asked in reply.

“Yep…,” he answered, striking those welts again in the same M pattern, clearly pleased with himself, making the marks darker, more raised.

Pausing again to stroke and squeeze his marks with his hands, he explained that at the start of every session, he whacks an M on both of my cheeks. An M for his initial. His mark, on me. Branded as his. My insides are still smiling.

This morning, as I was sipping my coffee and sitting on a sore bum, daydreaming and replaying last night, all I…

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Commitment

Slut, Ph.D.

Good friend: “Welllll… You guys are ‘European married.’ It’s not really what other people think being married means.

I’ve been asked the question before: “If you’re going to fall in love with and sleep with other people, why did you bother to get married?” The answer for me personally remains pretty straightforward—because I wanted my now-husband to be the person who decided what happens to my broken body if I get in a car wreck, not my parents. While that was the most pressing point, there are a whole host of other social and economic benefits that come from being married, including tax breaks and insurance… Although I am personally very much opposed to the legal institution of marriage, trying to live up to that particular principle is a pain in the ass, and my now-husband and I were both quite poor and financially desperate when we got married, so…

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