Slave versus submissive: Does the distinction really matter?

freeing excalibur

Ask anyone in our BDSM community about the definition of slave versus submissive and quite a dialogue can ensue.  Anywhere one looks, whether it is a BDSM website, forum, blog, Webster’s dictionary, magazine or textbook, one can find strong opinions and varying perspectives on the two.

I began a journey of self discovery in the BDSM realm when I entered college.   I often tried to use what “others” said as the basis to define who I was, but ultimately I was left feeling disappointed in myself and terribly dissatisfied.  I read numerous books, took on line tests and even subjected myself to psychological analysis to determine if my mindset was indeed healthy.  All in all, I failed to fit any true mold.  There were elements to each perspective I could embrace, but I would spend the next twenty years trying to force myself to be what had been so clearly…

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