A Little Discovery

How do you know if you’re a little? Is there a check list or a quiz I can take, and if I score xyz percent or higher I’m a little? This may read as facetious; I assure you I’m asking these questions seriously.

The more I read posts written by littles, the more my life reminds me of things I’ve read on their blogs. What I haven’t found so far is a description of how anyone either became a little or realized that they are little. I have no idea if a person is born that way or if someone becomes a little, or if it is even one or the other. Also, I realize I’m generalizing and everyone and their lifestyles are individual, but I’m trying to gain insight into the category, so please forgive any unintended slights.

What does it mean to be a little? What does it mean to you, and what does it mean to your partner? Is having (or wanting) a Daddy Dom an integral part of being little, or is that only a common association? Is it about wanting to be taken care of, or about recapturing childhood? How is being little different from being a submissive who is not little?

The reason I ask is because last night H and I had an incredible evening. I wasn’t feeling very well, so he cuddled me, let me wear his sweatshirt without his normal complaints, and made a special trip to the store just because I was hungry and didn’t want any of the food we had at home. H went out of his way to take care of me and nurture me, even before I admitted I wasn’t feeling well. The evening was a marked departure from our usual interactions, and I felt so close to him the entire time. I also felt more loved than I have felt in months. I’m not sure why or how exactly, but last night H was meeting my emotional needs in spades.

I know that I have trust and abandonment issues, and that I feel loved primarily through physical affection/contact. H told me he was happy last night because he felt needed and I let him take care of me. It is very unusual for me to feel as loved as I did last night without sex, but the impact last night had on me was undeniable.

I really don’t know if I’m a little or not. I’ve never identified that way, but perhaps I simply hadn’t had the exposure to recognize that in myself? I’m not sure. I know I like to giggle and be silly and make H smile and laugh. H often compares me to my 4 year old niece. I’ve never been this way with anyone else because I never let my guard down far enough. With H I am just me. So, am I a little? If I am, what does that mean? Can that help improve my struggling relationship with H? Would this help or further hinder our communication with one another? At this point all I seem to have are questions. Any insight/experiences would be greatly appreciated!

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12 thoughts on “A Little Discovery

  1. I will totally respond to this tonight when I have more time. However, realizing I was more Babygirl submissive than regular submissive was a turning point for both of us. My husband felt like he couldn’t be dominant enough but when he read about Daddy Dom behavior he told me that was more him. It IS a very nurturing kind of domination.

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  2. Wow, this was very interesting for me, as I’ve been very avid about not having a “little” side to me (my Master is not a very nurturing person, He usually jokes that all of His take-care-of-instincts are spent on the cats) but lately I’ve noticed, as the play has become heavier, that what I want for aftercare is indeed more than just sex or cuddling, it is being taken care of. It is being washed and being put to bed. I’m not sure how this is going to affect our relationship as He has agreed to these things with an amused smile and a “fine, but just this once!” as opposed to tapping into any Daddy Dom tendencies.

    Thank you for sharing! I’m going to keep reading for sure!

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  3. While those are all common traits of the ddlg dynamic, I do feel it should be noted that they aren’t restricted to that dynamic. I am very much a sadist, but my name is what it is for a reason. For all my love of pain, I am also a hopeless romantic and very nurturing outside of a scene. My first erotic story, A Wolfe’s Reward, perhaps demonstrates that a little.

    At the end of the day, it really depends on the people involved. I’m sure a lot of ddlg resources will be thrown at you here, so to offer another perspective:

    http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Dominant-John-Warren-ebook/dp/B0022NGDXG/

    That is a decent book on the subject. 🙂

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