As my blog discusses, I’m hoping that my husband H may eventually become my Dom. I don’t have super high hopes of success for a variety of reasons, but one in particular bears further exploration I think. H and I are both bisexual, and while I am fine with all varieties of pairings (and moresomes), H has never topped with another guy, only bottomed. H had never even experimented with guys prior to meeting me, but it seemed a rather short move from pegging to involving a real bi guy in a threesome.
Again, I don’t have a problem with this. M/M doesn’t bother me, and I don’t disrespect H for bottoming. But he’s never expressed a desire to top either. I’m not sure if he is uncomfortable with that since if he wants anal he can get it from me, and thinks he shouldn’t express interest in topping a guy, if H simply isn’t interested in topping a guy, or if there’s something else going on. The other thing is when we’ve had threesomes and H has bottomed, he’s always lost his erection. He seems to enjoy it, moaning and so on, but he doesn’t get or stay hard. This is true when I peg him too. He also hasn’t ever cum from being penetrated that I’m aware of.
Typically we have very open communication about what we like, don’t like, what we want and fantasize about, etc. But in this case I don’t know how to bring it up and I don’t know what I would say. I also know that H rarely identifies as bisexual. What I don’t know is why. In the lifestyle, M/F and F/F play is accepted but M/M play is all but prohibited. I’m not sure if H just doesn’t want to drive away potential playmates, or if there’s more to the story? So, I’m probably about to the point where I need to admit I understand everyone’s sexuality is their own and I can only get the answers to my questions about H’s sexuality by taking to him. Agreed. But, here’s my question and the reason for my discussion in this forum: are there any bisexual Doms out there who like to bottom when playing with another guy? If so, is it “vanilla” bottoming or deeper levels of submission? Also, not personally knowing much about M/M sex, do you ever lose your erection while bottoming? Does that affect your enjoyment of that particular sex act?
Basically, I’m trying to figure out (from a variety of angles) if H may become a Dom or if it truly isn’t for him. I love H and I don’t want to push him for something he doesn’t want or won’t be happy with, but I am finally realizing that my need to submit is a part of me, and not something I can ignore or wish away. Any comments/thoughts/experiences/ideas on any of these subjects are more than welcome. Thank you in advance for any insight you may be able to provide!